Beautiful Goodbye
by inshayne
Summary: "I often battled demons in my head for this happiness, the part that wants to forget everything and just live for the sake of living." "Just one memory." SASUSAKU


**My One Warm Memory**

"Thank you," I murmured softly to her before I swiftly rendered her unconscious. It was the right thing to do, the only thing I could do—

_After all, I was never supposed to say goodbye._

But I had expected apathy. I expected detached scrutiny when she started falling. In spite of everything, she had always been an annoyance, a hindrance...

-a _burden_. A challenge to see how much further I can progress in distress of another lost...

Nothing had prepared me for the desolation I felt when I heard her suck in a deep breath as darkness forcibly embraced her, tears escaping her closed eyes. I snatched her shoulder, catching her just before she fell to the cold ground.

'_This is the girl I had endeavored to protect all this time, a precious person who engraved a maddening constant in me.'_

For a few moments, I just stood there and merely held her against me, not quite embracing, not quite distanced—**perhaps afraid to let go, perhaps afraid to leave. **I squeezed my eyes shut, at a lost of what to do next.

'_The moon was my witness, the night, my judge. And at this very moment, it shall deliver the verdict to this wavering heart.'_

Gently, I lifted her into my arms and nuzzled her neck simply to indulge in her scent. Her cherry tresses tickled my cheek as she unconsciously leaned into my touch. But time was running too fast, and I, too slow. The weight of the day and the growth of the darkness are trapping me in this indecisive mind of mine.

'_For I did, you know, _want _to be happy.'_

The thought was arresting—

I often battled demons in my head for _this_ happiness, the part that wants to forget everything and just live for the sake of living. This girl had been a constant reminder of how it was like to just be happy, to be untainted by the shadows of the vindictive world of ninjas. It was painful.

**A part of me wants to hold on, wants to stay.** I want to stay with this girl until morning comes and watch her face as she wakes up, eyes widening in surprise when she found me settled peacefully beside her, never mind that I was not saying anything.I would've _still_ been_ here_.

She would've surely burst into tears, and then she'll grab me tightly and embrace me and clutch my shirt, so afraid she's just dreaming, so terrified I'll really go. We would've sat there until Naruto found us, just sitting. Then perhaps, this nightmare of a night will just be that: nightmare.

Breathing in, I walked slowly to the nearest bench and laid her there, watching as a few more tears rolled down her pale face. I lifted my hand, the tips of my fingers trailing her cheek to her eyes and lightly brushed away the wet track, immediately feeling the cold tingle of the salty liquid.

'_Family... I had two.'_

One destroyed by the most precious person I had, the other I'll destroy by design. But one thing that I did not want, _they_ had to understand, is to kill this treasured new family like that man did.

I crouched low, hovering above her with my arms braced on either side of her, merely watching, deeply pondering. I tried to commit this face to memory, tried to engrave the image of squad Seven's embodiment of the bonds that tied us together—our only girl.

'_One warm memory, that's all.'_

Just one thing I can keep in my pocket- one radiance in my path to vengeance. Just one is enough. After all, even I know that in the absolute darkness, I _will_ lose my way.

I touched my lips to hers once lightly... then twice, firmly. I closed my eyes, hesitating- always hesitating. Then I stole another one anyway, just because. I leaned back and watched as her mouth twitched into a frown and I vaguely surprised myself with the smirk that followed. I, too, missed the warmth just as soon.

'_Sakura.'_

Goodbye. We—You and I, will close the gates and tread two opposite paths. Perhaps someday, we might meet in between.

And maybe next time I see you, I shall have lost my humanity. I shall have been enveloped completely by the darkness that is now slowly consuming me. Your voice might not reach me, or his voice, or Kakashi's.

Maybe... Maybe next time we meet, your name is merely a word, your face merely a memory. You might burst into tears- at a loss, or stand stock still in stun, or even scream angrily at me. I would've accepted them all. And I might just test your name in my tongue, remembering nothing but this one night.

'_But know that even if I will have severed my bond with the others entirely, ours will be held by this lone_ thin_ thread of night.'_

You took a shuddering breath, so I moved back praying for your sound sleep. You shall never have to be subjected to bitter farewells, especially from someone whom you love. I know this much.

'_Sakura.'_

Perhaps one day, when I have accomplished my goals, I can return here where you'll be waiting to murmur '_okairi'_ to me with a watery smile. Or maybe I would have been too damaged to ever dare think of going home.

My lips thinned and my face was surely grim as I turned away from you.

_Thank you._

I returned to my original path: towards the gates of Konoha.

This is goodbye. When I pass that passage, Sasuke Uchiha will be long dead.

_Thank you._

The only thing that will remain in this body is an avenger who swore vengeance for the Uchiha Clan.

I looked up at the moon, saying one last prayer to a god.

_Sakura..._

_Thank you._

**End.**

**Well. **Masashi-sama did say they would've ended up together had Sasuke not left. :) A doujin inspired me to write did. It was pretty but I don't know the title.


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